Getting better 6/6/17

So, lately I’ve been trying to get better. But in order to get better, I must understand what is wrong with myself. So, I’m Jessica Elliott, I suffer from anxiety, depersonalization/derealisation, ADHD and  depression. I also struggle with self harm and suicidal thoughts.

(if you are unsure what depersonalization/derealisation is, please read my blog ‘Derealizwhat??’)

So like I said I have been trying to get better, but it’s been really hard. It funny really actually because I’m sad but it has gotten worse because I’m focusing on it and trying to get better, making my dark days darker. But it is ok but it is going to be hard and a battle but anyways, I got to do it. Over letting it all win, over not being happy, over it.

So here is what I’ve been doing to get better, but remember getting better is small steps-

  • Dealing with my problems myself, I’ve come to a realisation that I’m draining the people around me with my issues, so to stop that, I’m keeping my issues to myself and my blog.
  • Taking responsibility for my own happiness and not relying on other people, doing what I wanna do and not wait for other people to do it with me. Not fair on other people or myself.
  • Alone time, same as above but doing stuff by myself. Well not only stuff but things I love to do like go to look outs. (I’ll post some photos down below)
  • Camomile Tea, I’ve started drinking Camomile Tea because it known from helping and calming anxiety. I’ve been having at least one a day with honey  but I don’t know if its working ye, like it is quite relaxing but I think that is any tea. I don’t know if it calms anxiety yet, I will let you know.
  • Limiting facebook time. Facebook is not good, there is nothing good on facebook. Facebook is just terrible news, or friends that are travelling, people who are cooler then you and just eats up time, you are on fb at 9am and you wink and its 12pm, so silly. So before I go to sleep I log out, wake up check my messages and try to go on fb, see its logged out and realise what I’m trying to do. I try and not log back in until 10am. 
  • Limiting phone time, being more in the moment. Actually watching a movie or being with a friend or family, not sitting on my phone. 
  • Being more productive during the day, so my days don’t feel wasted.
  • Trying not to stress about life, which is easier said then done.

There is so much more I could be doing to get better but as I’ve said its baby steps. The next huge step is to meditate and practice mindfulness. 

I’m blogging how I’m trying to get better in the hopes it could help someone else or you. It gets better.

Thanks for reading. I’m here if you need someone.
When I took my self to a look out.

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